學生作品分享｜學測英文作文課程：你的早餐，吃得像國王嗎？
http://www.learnerhall.org/2026/06/blog-post_20.html
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感謝北一女中呂同學的分享。一起來看她如何透過「邏輯重整」與「句型精練」讓論述更加層次分明。
➤ 第一段
As a student who rents a house near the school, 1️⃣ I always buy my breakfast near my place on my way to school. 2️⃣ It used to be a cup of soybean milk and a sandwich. After I get into my class, I eat them while taking the morning test. However, I sometimes forget to eat them because I am busy preparing an important report or cramming for a big exam. 3️⃣ Not until the noon do I find my breakfast is still in my bag. 4️⃣ On the weekend, the friendly shopkeeper who sells the breakfast will prepare some fresh salad especially for me. Her smashed potato with lettuce is the most delicious dish 5️⃣ I ever taste.
🧱【 寫作建築學 】
評析作文時，我們總是引導學生先宏觀檢視「文章骨架」—— 確認論點與邏輯是否連貫；隨後，才進行微觀的詞彙與文法修正。 寫作如同蓋房子，結構（論點組織）穩固後，才能進行室內裝潢（修辭）。學測作文中，「內容與組織」佔分高達 50% 以上。這意味著：即便文字平實，邏輯層次分明就能拿高分；反之，若論述鬆散、邏輯跳躍，再華麗的詞藻也難獲得閱卷老師的青睞。
➤ 邏輯重整策略：
開頭： 帶出早餐內容。(沙拉移到這，敘事連貫)
轉折： 因為什麼原因而忘了吃。
因果： 沒吃早餐造成的負面影響。
結論： 意識到吃早餐的重要性，決心做出改變。
➤ 句型與文法調整
1️⃣ 原稿：I always buy my breakfast near my place on my way to school
去贅字：I buy my breakfast on my way to school
2️⃣ 原稿：It used to be a cup of soybean milk…
改道地：My quick breakfast usually consists of soybean milk…
3️⃣ 原稿：Not until the noon do I find my breakfast is still in my bag.
改成 find + N + adj句型更生動：
Not until noon do I find my breakfast lying intact in the bag.
4️⃣ 原稿：...the friendly shopkeeper who sells the breakfast...
去贅字：...the owner of the breakfast spot...
5️⃣ 原稿：...I ever taste
修錯誤：...I have ever tasted (我吃過最…...的，應該用現在完成式)
➤ 第二次課堂討論後，這段文字華麗變身，從瑣碎的日常紀錄，變成層次分明且流暢的論點疊加。呂同學的作品已展現出學測高分作文的論述密度：
As a student who rents a place off campus, I buy my breakfast on my way to school. My quick breakfast usually consists of soybean milk, a sandwich and sometimes the signature smashed potato salad. I gulp them down while taking the morning test. However, sometimes I forget to have them because I am too busy doing assignments or cramming for exams. Not until noon do I find my breakfast lying intact in the plastic bag. Without breakfast, I find it hard to concentrate during morning classes and sometimes fail the tests. Moreover, mood swings and irritability caused by missing breakfast have a negative impact on my interpersonal relationships. No wonder people always say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. To get my day started on the right track, I will make it a rule to have a healthy breakfast.
作為一個在校外租屋的學生，我總在上學途中順道買好早餐。我的簡便早餐通常就是一杯豆漿、一個三明治，有時候還會加上店裡的招牌薯泥沙拉。我通常邊考晨考，邊匆忙地把早餐吞下肚。
然而，有時我會忙到根本忘了吃，因為我不是狂趕作業，就是為了考試臨時抱佛腳。往往一路忙到中午，我才猛然發現我的早餐還原封不動地躺在塑膠袋裡。
沒吃早餐的後果就是發現自己上午的課很難專心，考試有時也不及格。不僅如此，沒吃早餐所引發的情緒波動和焦躁易怒對我的人際關係產生了負面影響。
難怪大家總說，早餐是一天最重要的一餐。為了讓自己的每天能有好的開始、重回正軌，我立下規矩，一定要吃頓健康的早餐。
想讓自己的寫作也這樣「華麗變身」？
