PART 4-4 最終定稿篇｜115 學年度全國第一次學測模擬考｜學生英文作文分享
歷經初步評析 PART 4-1、邏輯重塑 PART 4-2 到詞彙文法精修 PART 4-3 的層層打磨，今天迎來最終定稿！
這系列再次公開了我們課堂「作文診斷與精修」的真實流程。大學堂英文教研團隊的英文作文修改原則是：尊重學生原創，保留文章原味，只針對真正需要改善的問題下手。不套模板、不另花時間背誦範文、也不刻意堆疊難字；而是把學生的點子與既有的詞彙用得更有邏輯、更自然，以最高效率達成英文寫作能力的升級。
與其修出遠遠超出學生原有語言能力、甚至全篇新論點的「神級範文」，我們更在乎學生能否「學得會、下次考場也能寫得出這種扎實好文」。
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💡 大學堂英文教研團隊的作文教學優先順序（1️⃣～4️⃣ 是作文得分的關鍵，5️⃣ 是錦上添花）。先把 1️⃣～4️⃣ 該拿的分數拿穩、拿滿（至少15分），再追求5️⃣ 極致精緻：
1️⃣ 不離題：精準審題，抓住寫作重點。
2️⃣ 穩固邏輯：清除邏輯跳躍，讓段落串接流暢。
3️⃣ 抓出文法錯誤：將基礎文法失誤降到最低。
4️⃣ 自然表達：修正搭配詞，避開中式英文。
5️⃣ 精緻詞彙（選配）：行有餘力再升級！
這些英文寫作高分要素，想必大家都不陌生。希望透過陳同學一模作文的蛻變過程，讓大家了解如何將這些抽象理念落實到自己的寫作中！
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▋今年 7/29 考的全國一模英文作文寫作說明：
科技改變了家庭互動的方式。請參照下方這兩張圖片，寫一篇文長至少 120 字的英文作文。第一段：描述兩張圖片呈現的差異。第二段：說明造成這個現象的原因，並談談自己的看法。
▋學測英文班｜ 武陵高中陳同學分享｜平衡科技使用與家庭生活
➤ 師生合作最終定稿
第一段
The rapid advancement of technology has significantly changed our family life. Families used to sit together to watch TV, talk and enjoy quality time together. However, nowadays, family members may still gather in the same living room, but everyone is absorbed in separate virtual worlds. A scene that has become increasingly common in modern households looks like this: The father is using a tablet, the son is playing online games, and the mother is checking her cellphone. With the TV turned off, the atmosphere feels strangely quiet. Even during dinner, family members exchange barely a word. Everyone has their eyes glued to their glowing screens, laughing out loud and chatting enthusiastically—not with their family, but with their online friends. Technology, which is designed to bring us together, has only left us more disconnected than ever.
第二段
Excessive use of digital devices is the main reason for this phenomenon. People can get information and entertainment more conveniently than before, so they gradually depend on technology and see it as their indispensable companion. Their digital gadgets are to them what Doraemon is to Nobita. Take my family, for example. When I feel tired from schoolwork, I usually grab my cellphone first and scroll through social media, because it helps me relax. My family members often immerse themselves in browsing online stores, editing photos, or binge-watching Netflix series; we do not spend as much time talking to each other as we used to. Overall, I think technology plays an important role in our daily life, but if we use it too much, it may isolate us from our family. We should learn how to balance technology use and family life. Otherwise, we may live under the same roof with our hearts growing further apart.
➤ 陳同學原文
第一段
Technology has changed our family life a lot. In the first picture, the family sit together on the sofa and watch TV happily. They are talking and sharing the moment with each other. However, in the second picture, although the family members are still in the same living room, everyone focuses on their own electronic devices. The father is using a tablet, the boy is playing online games, and the mother is using her cellphone. The TV is also turned off, so the atmosphere becomes more silent and strange. Therefore, technology makes people become more distant from their family.
第二段
In my opinion, the development of technology is the main reason of this phenomenon. People can get information and entertainment more convenient than before, so they gradually depend on technology and see it as their indispensable companion just like Doraemon and Nobita. This is why family members do not talk to each other as much as before. For example, when I feel tired from schoolwork, I usually open my cellphone first and check social media, because it can make me relax. Sometimes my family members also do the same thing, and we have less communication. I think technology plays an important role in our daily life, but if we use it too much, it may isolate people from their family. We should learn how to balance technology and family life. Otherwise, even though we live under one roof, our hearts may become more far away.
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了解修改作文的流程了，那麼寫作時最重要的「點子」又是怎麼冒出來的？ 下一篇，我們就來看看陳同學如何展題。 拿到題目不知道能寫什麼，怎麼辦？下一篇一併拆解。
👇 看完這系列，大家覺得哪個階段最難？初步評析、邏輯重塑，還是詞彙文法精修？來 大學堂英文臉書粉專 留言區分享！
