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指考衝刺教學:104指考英文作文分享

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  • 2015-07-02
  • 今下午三點,大學堂英文教學團隊便迫不及待地坐在電腦前,等著瞧瞧今年指考英文試題的「真面目」。當一看到作文題目時,有的老師「驚聲尖叫」,有的「掩面哭泣」。喜的是有些同學之前曾練過這題目,失望的是,考前順應 104 學測趨勢狂練論說文和圖表作文的同學就沒這般好運,沒能搭上這平易近人的記敘文練習。以下就來瞧瞧一位幸運兒上課期間練寫的作文吧。

    104 指考英文作文提示:

    指導別人學習讓他學會一件事物,或是得到別人的指導而自己學會一件事物,都是很好的經驗。請根據你過去幫助別人學習,或得到別人的指導而學會某件事的經驗,寫一篇至少 120 個單詞的英文作文。文分兩段,第一段說明該次經驗的緣由、內容和過程,第二段說明你對該次經驗的感想。



    初稿:老師提示寫作方向和詞彙片語後,請同學於週間完成初稿,並寄至指考衝刺教學指定信箱。


    I love to eat. (評)這個開頭句夠開門見山,但卻不夠吸引人,建議:I have a constant sweet tooth (指非常愛吃甜食) and I love to… every time when I taste something delicious, I will be as happy as a child. (評)太空泛,建議舉例說明吃到啥好吃的,吃的時候有啥感受。I especially like sweet food. Cheese cakes, bluebarry pies, macaron, chocolate cookies ...... desserts like those mentioned will always make me satisfied and be in good mood. (評) 建議融到開頭第一句裏,加在sweet tooth 後面舉例用。Therefore, when got into senior high school, I joined the cooking club. (評) 烘培社(baking club)更符合你愛吃甜的主軸。

    I won't forget the first class when I learned how to bake a chocolate brownie. I remember that the teacher asked us to bake the brownie on that day. (評)建議可從這開始描述老師的 brownie 烘培教學內容、程序及怎樣才算烤出極品 brownie 等等。順便幫老師取個名字。She gave each of us two cups of flour, a big piece of chocolate, half cup of sugar, an egg, and some butter. This was my first time to know what is included in a brownie. Then, the teacher had us follow her step. At first, we melted the butter and chocolate into liquid. Second, we put the egg and sugar into it and stirred them. Finally, we put into the flour and mixed all the ingredients together. Though the steps above-mentioned seemed not difficult, (評)字序有誤,應改成 the above-mentioned steps didn't seem difficult I still spent a long time to understand what the teacher was doing. (評)描述不夠精準,建議寫出哪個步驟或環節讓你花了好些時間才抓到訣竅。Happily, I successfully made all the ingredients into the dough. (評) brownie 需 blend (攪拌混合) 成 batter (麵糊),非dough (麵糰)。The only step left was to send the dough to the oven and wait for twenty minutes.

    Before long, the whole classroom was full of the smell of the brownie. (評)建議多描寫 brownie 令人無法抵抗的香氣。I was so excited and looking forward to seeing what the finished product might look like. When the teacher opened the oven, I could feel the heat and a strong sweet smell. (評)這個香氣梗前面用過了,可省略,並將 my brownie 那句接上來,建議 my brownie looked, smelled and tasted…。My hand-made Brownie was as yummy and pretty as those sold in the bakery. I felt a great sense of accomplishment and fell in love with baking.

    It was the most unforgettable class to me. I learned how to cook and started to love cooking.(評) 這梗前面用過了,建議可刪。直接下方 I love … 那句挪上來。I love to make many delicious desserts and either enjoy them myself or share them with my friends. I really had a wonderful and happy time during cooking. Also, the first cooking class will always be my precious memory. (評)「印象深刻」和「難忘」梗都已用過,建議:這堂烹飪課點燃我對製作甜點的熱情,為我的生活帶來 … 驚喜和改變。

    (總評)這篇以「烹飪課」切入頗討喜,畢竟誰不喜歡吃呢 。而這種題材成功的關鍵在於描述出甜點迷人的香味/ 口感,以及吃甜點時甜蜜蜜的小確幸。全篇著重描寫過往經驗,所以全文時態上以「過去式」為重。

    二修:下周上課,老師領著同學一起完成細部調整,調整方向涵蓋用字 / 文法 / 句型 / 文章結構 / 劇情邏輯等等,二修即最終定稿。定稿後,學生接著背誦自己的文章,將單字句構進一步內化。


    I have a constant sweet tooth and I love to treat myself to a great variety of delicacies, from cheese cakes to chocolate cookies. For me, desserts are happiness condensed. Every time when I bite into a warm piece of chocolate cake, so moist that it practically melts in my mouth and so flavorful that it instantly satisfies my taste buds, I literally become the happiest person in the world. Therefore, as soon as I got into senior high school, I joined the baking club. I won't forget the first class where I learned how to bake a brownie. Beaming with warm smiles, our baking teacher, Mrs. Lin, greeted us and introduced us to the ingredients and techniques for making a perfect brownie that was rich, chewy in the middle and crunchy on the outside. She gave each of us two cups of flour, a big piece of chocolate, half cup of sugar, an egg, and some butter. Then, the teacher had us follow her instructions step by step. At first, we melted the butter and chocolate into liquid. Second, we put the egg and sugar into it and stirred properly. Finally, we added flour and mixed all the ingredients together. Though the steps didn't seem difficult, it took me a while to get the hang of mixing and stirring. Happily, I blended all the ingredients into smooth, shiny brownie batter. The only step left was to send the batter to the oven and wait for twenty minutes.

    Before long, the whole classroom was full of the tempting smell of the freshly baked brownies that made my mouth water even when I was not the slightest bit hungry. I was so excited and looking forward to seeing what the finished product might look like. When the teacher opened the oven, my brownies looked, smelled and tasted divine, even better than those in the bakery! I felt a great sense of accomplishment and fell in love with baking. Until now, I still spend lots of time creating irresistible desserts, using all-natural ingredients that could be enjoyed without adding any burden to health or a moment's guilt. I love to make all kinds of delicious desserts either to treat myself or entertain families and friends. In short, I really enjoy the baking part of baking. The process excites me, be it measuring, sifting, stirring, waiting as the batter or dough rises in the oven or pulling the pans out of the oven and finding all the ingredients transformed into something savory and perfect. Mrs. Lin’s  class has ignited within me an everlasting passion for baking.



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