學測英文作文與翻譯班：學生作品作文分享（書信作文）
http://www.learnerhall.org/2016/10/101.html
提示：從小到高中，大家都有參加園遊會的經驗。請寫一封邀請函，請你的親朋好友來參加學校園遊會。第一段說明園遊會的時間和主題，你將要賣什麼產(食)品或辦什麼活動，同時說明其特色。第二段說明如何抵達會場及園遊會所得用途。請注意：信頭稱謂請用 Dear All，信末署名需用 John 或 Jane。
▍一修
▍一修
針對初稿，老師親自批閱，不逐字修，以劇情鋪陳是否合理，初步句構是否正確為批改重點。批閱後寄回給同學，請同學再次改寫。
Dear All, （註：書信作文開頭，人名稱呼後要打「逗號」）
This year, our school fair is decided to be hold on 10/30. It will be opened at 4:00 p.m. and finish approximately at 9:30 p.m.. Different from the past event which just sold some snacks and played some boring games（註：關代 which 代替前面的名詞 past event，event 不會 sold / played，文法錯誤，建議刪除這節。）, this time, our subject is "Brave." （註：活動主題 theme，非 subject (學科 / 話題 / 受測者)。）The event features 3 parts. First, in the entrance is the ghost house. Every guest has to get through the ten-minute-long dim tunnel, and along the way, there are plenty of "surprises" waiting for you. （註：這是一般大家想像的鬼屋，文法上都正確，但就是缺了亮點，可多加點創意。）In addition, as soon as you pass the tunnel, several peddlers exhibit in front of you, and they are all in Halloween styles. （註：將 exhibit (展示) 改成 show up / appear (出現)。要仔細描寫小販所販售的食物，食物也應扣緊 Halloween / 恐怖片這主軸。）Beside the food and drink, we also have many club performance like guitar, drama, magic, and honor guard. （註：Beside (= next to) 要換成 Besides (除…以外) 。many 後方的 performances 應為複數。表演節目和內容還是要扣緊 horror 這主軸。）Moreover, there will be a horrible movie （註：horrible (adj.) 可怕的。應換成 horrible movie）playing in the auditorium at 7:00. If you want to challenge your bravery, just come! （註：換成 test your mental limitation 更好）
And how to go to our school? （註：how to…這句非完整句子，應避免在作文中出現。）The most convenient way is that taking he MRT to the Shandao Temple station and go out from exit 5. （註：關代 that 後方要加完整句子，要有完整動作，taking 需改成 take。又或去掉 that，改成 taking…and going…。）Once you leave the station, go straight for about 100 meters and on your left hand side is our school. Apart from taking the MRT, you can also take bus 208, 262, 304, which directly reach there. By the way, our school fair ticket cost 300 dollars. It is mean that you won’t spend any money while entering the place. （註：ticket 應該搭 costs。is / mean 雙動詞，文法錯誤。實際上參加者花了 300 元買入場券，而不是不花一毛錢入場。反而應說明入場券可抵園遊會中的哪些項目。）All our profits will donate to ICRC. （註：profits 應搭配被動式 be donated。）You will not only attend a sensational celebration but also make charities. （註：中式英文，應改成 make charitable contributions。）Don’t you want to experience a different and interesting Halloween? Don’t hesitate. We all welcome you to come.
Sincerely,
John
註：信尾署名 (John) 和敬語 (Sincerely) 不在同一行。Sincerely 後方需打逗號。
▍定稿
課堂上，老師再次帶著同學進行文法詞彙精修，完成最終定稿。定稿後，學生背誦自己的文章，將單字句構進一步內化。
Dear All,
This year, we will hold a fair to celebrate our school’s 80th anniversary and Halloween. And we would like to invite you, along with your family and friends, to join us on Oct. 30th, from 4 pm to 9:30 pm. We promise to have something for everyone, so get ready to have great fun. Different from the past celebrations, this time, we make “bravery” the main event theme. For those of you who love some thrills and chills, you can sign up for the “haunted house.” Unlike the typical 5-minute walkthrough maze with sickly corpses jumping out at you, our “Gates of Hell” is created by hardcore terror fanatics and employs movie-quality props and special effects. The house features various horror elements that get inside your head in ways too horrible to describe. For example, you might be unexpectedly stuffed into a coffin or trapped in scary illusions such as being attacked by something invisible and then left soaked in your own blood. In addition, if you are more a food lover than a thrill-seeker, there are 100 stalls offering a great variety of “spooky,” mind-blowing delicacies inspired by well-known horror movies. Among the snacks is green slime popcorn. Rumor has it that if you eat a whole bowl in front of the mirror in a dark room and say "Bloody Mary" three times, she will appear. Besides, if you are willing to venture to a vampire diet, you can sample those blood orange pops to see how Cullens in the movie Twilight quench their blood cravings. Another highlight of this fair is an afternoon live concert, which boasts student artists singing the creepy theme songs of classic horror movies or putting on shows adapted from popular thrillers. Moreover, there will be a horror movie playing in the auditorium at 7:00. If you want to test your mental limit, just come!
As for the transportation, the most convenient way to get to our campus is to take the MRT to the Shandao Temple station and get out at exit 5. Once you leave the station, go straight for about 100 meters, and on your left-hand side is our school. Apart from taking the MRT, you can also take bus 208, 262, 304 and get off right in front of the school gate. The admission fee is $300 per person and it includes unlimited access to the haunted house, the concert, shows, and exhibitions. All our profits will be donated to the charities including the ICRC. This means that by attending this sensational celebration, you are also making a big difference to the lives of those in need. Above all, don’t you want to experience Halloween in different ways? Don’t hesitate! The tickets are expected to sell out soon so you had better sign up now.
Sincerely,
John
