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學測衝刺教學:101年學測英文作文/ 書信寫作分享

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  • 2014-10-24
  • 今天我們再接再厲來看看學測英文作文的第三種出題形式—書信寫作吧。書信寫作可概分成正式和非正式兩類。前者包括一般商業信函、求職信和推薦信等。而後者則以私人社交信函為主。兩者在格式和標點符號上稍有不同,請見下表。

    正式書信 非正式書信
    正式信函右上角需加註寄信人住址及日期 日期需置於信函右上角,年與月日之間用逗號隔開
    稱呼上方需加註收信者姓名(或單位名稱)及住址 稱呼之後加逗號
    稱呼之後加冒號 結尾詞第一字字首大寫,其後加上逗號。書信寫作中可用的結尾詞有:[親近的人] (With/ In) Love, [表關切真誠] Sincerely yours,/ Yours truly,/ Warm regards,/ Your friend,
    不可用縮寫字
    信件儘可能打字,簽名部分先親筆簽名下方再搭配打字


    接下來和大家分享衝刺教學同學以101年學測英文作文為題所寫成的非正式書信一篇。

    題目:你最好的朋友最近迷上電玩,因此常常熬夜,疏忽課業,並受到父母的責罵。你(英文名字必須假設為 Jack 或 Jill)打算寫一封信給他/她(英文名字必須假設為 Ken 或 Barbie),適當地給予勸告。注意:必須使用上述的Jack或Jill在信末署名,不得使用自己的真實中文或英文名字

    感謝「大學堂英文學測衝刺教學」東山高中陳同學的分享

    初稿:老師於課堂上講解寫作方向,提示詞彙片語後,請同學於週間完成初稿,並寄至學測衝刺教學指定信箱。

    Oct. 25, 2014
    Dear Ken,
    Recently, every waking moment, you always sit in front of the computer and play your favorite LOL. On weekends, you would play for over twenty hours straight, skipping meals. Besides, you even avoid using the bathroom and taking a shower, only not to miss one second of the game. (評)信件一開頭就應明確點出寫這封信的動機為何?接著鋪陳事情的來龍去脈。又 weekends 做什麼這些訊息是打從哪兒來的呢?Your mom was worried about you because she saw you pound your ten fingers upon your pillow in search of a keyboard in the middle of your sleep. I was worried about you, too. You used to do well at school but since you became addicted to online games, your school grades suffered. In addition, you either missed homework deadlines or turned in lousy homework. What bothered me most was that you isolated yourself from friends. You didn’t play basketball or go shopping with us anymore. You spent all your time trying to advance to next level in the game. You became irritated when we called you while you were using computer. (評)詞彙完整,但句子多以 you 開頭,看來較單調,行有餘力可做些句式變化。

    (評)第一段的弱點在於陳述邏輯有些零亂,建議調動句子順序,如:我寫這封信是因為我很擔心你 > 你最近沉迷於線上遊戲,因而在學校…(點出不對勁的項目)>你爸媽也很擔心你 > 從你爸媽那得知你在家…(點出不對勁的項目)。

    I know that you are a perfectionist. When you can’t attain excellence, you become anxious and depressed. And when your performance can’t meet your parents’ high expectations, you seem to lose confidence in yourself. That is why you turn to the Internet for temporary release of pressure. However, after you get off the computer, you face the same problems. As your friend, I think you don’t have to be the best every time to be successful. We all learn through trials and errors. (評)加入一句 「失敗只是暫時的,只是通往成功的道路上的小插曲」這樣會更好,進而建議朋友要學著容忍暫時的不完美。I think there are other ways to relieve pressure such as playing basketball or seeing a movie. (評)突然從上ㄧ句「接受不完美」到這一句「抒壓」太過跳躍,要加過渡。Why not take up your old hobbies that give you a great sense of achievement? To fight your Internet addiction, you might try setting reasonable Internet use time and stick to it. The offline world offers much more interesting activities for you to experience and explore. (評)結尾太弱。Why 那句著重「抒壓」,To fight 這句提到「力抗沉迷網路遊戲的方法」,最後The offline 這句又點到「真實世界比線上虛擬世界更有趣」,三個分散且不連貫的點,結尾顯得雜亂無力。

    Your friend,
    Jack

    二修:下周上課,老師領著同學一起完成細部調整,調整方向涵蓋用字 / 文法 / 句型 / 文章結構 / 劇情邏輯等等,二修即最終定稿。定稿後,學生接著背誦自己的文章,將單字句構進一步內化。

    Oct. 25, 2014
    Dear Ken,
    I was worried about you. You used to do well at school but since you became addicted to online games, your school grades tumbled. Not only did you doze off in class but you turned in shoddy homework or missed assignment deadlines. Besides, you isolated yourself from friends. I can’t think of the last time you hung out with us. After school, you simply withdrew from all activities and spent every waking moment trying to advance to next level in League of Legends. You seemed to turn into everything that you said you would never be.

    Also, I heard from your parents that on weekends, you would play for over twenty hours straight, as if possessed by some mysterious outside force. You skipped meals altogether and avoided bathing or using the bathroom for fear of missing one second of the game. When they shut the game off, you freaked out and went ballistic. Obviously, you have lost yourself within a virtual world and neglected many of your real-world priorities. I am concerned that constant gaming would eventually take a heavy toll on your health, studies and relationships.

    I know that you are sort of a perfectionist. Stress accumulates when you don’t attain excellence. With the college entrance exam fast approaching, you shoulder even more pressure than ever. Therefore, you turn to those thrilling online games for temporary stress relief. Yet, I think there is a fine line between entertainment and a full-blown addiction. As your best friend, I would like to see you overcome your Internet addiction and get your life back in order. I can’t tell you how much I miss the witty old Ken, who struck a good balance between study, leisure, and social life. Above all, there are many better ways to keep stress at bay other than indulging yourself in online gaming. Why not take up your old hobbies that give you a great sense of achievement? Why not resume practice with the school basketball team? All your teammates and fans who nickname you “The Savior” await anxiously for your return. Promise me that you would start setting reasonable Internet use time and wane yourself off gaming as soon as possible. And I want you to know that you can always count on me. Whenever you need someone to confide in or share your burden, I will always be on your side because this is what friends are for. Once you break the vicious cycle of the Internet addiction, you are sure to find that the offline world offers much more interesting activities for you to explore, experience and enjoy!

    Your friend,
    Jack



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